The Rams Still Aren’t Worth a Shit

One step forward, two steps back. Every other year. One sign of progression is countered by a colossal billboard of regression.

A drastic improvement to 7-8-1 in 2012 provided some real hope that the sinking ship that was the U.S.S. Rams was finally going to come up for air.

This season was supposed to provide more signs of progress, to provide tangible evidence that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel down in the deepest depths of football purgatory.

After another complete no-show in Thursday night’s 35-11 beatdown at the hands of the San Francisco 49ers, it’s blatantly clear that somewhere along the way progression turned into regression.

I can’t watch this shit.

Dedicated to Brian Schottenheimer, obviously the world’s greatest offensive coordinator, after last night’s 35-11 drubbing by the hands of the FortyWhiners.

Goodbye Brian,
Move in with Cryin’ Ryan.

Your Dink, Dink, Dink,
Is cowardly and it stinks.

So long Brian
Your offense we ain’t buyin.

If I can be frank,
You make me as sick as phony blanks.

With Martz no fan would blink,
With you we would only miss a dink.

Once again Rams fans were took,
By another worthless crook.

When Banks left I was never so glad,
But you are just as bad.

We will continue to climb the walls,
Until you grow some balls.

Any Rams fan worth their salt,
Will admit your cowardly scheme is at fault.

Oh sure we still hope and pray,
But it’s time to return your pay.

Barring mega mental gymnastics,
Cowardly describes your tactics.

Dink, dink, dink, dink
Equals stink stink stink

There once was a man from Nantucket
I better stop there.

Oh, and one more thing, my dad’s 3-0 Miami Dolphins are probably laughing their asses off over the Rams’ Jake Long signing. He’s gotten injured and taken off the field in all four games this year. And as said, the Dolphins are 3-0 heading into Monday night’s meeting with the New Orleans Saints (who are also 3-0).

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