The Celtics Have Traded Rajon Rondo to the Mavericks

And if you read any Boston Celtics blogs, my fellow C’s fans are doing what sports fans do best: impulsively overreact as soon as the news has been dropped.

I’ve always believed that it’s better to either a great team or a terrible team in the NBA. There’s no beneficial payoff by being in the middle of the pack. By being awful, at least you have a high chance of securing a top 3 spot in the NBA Draft. I even wrote a post about this nearly eight years ago in regards to that dismal 2006-2007 Celtics campaign.

Maybe the Celtics self-sabotaged by trading away Rondo for what? Brendan Wright, Jae Crowder and a couple of draft picks? Listen, Rondo was leaving the Celtics after the season, anyway, and the writing has been on the wall for years at least. I just love how my fellow C’s fans were writing off the tension between Danny Ainge and the Celtics the last couple of years, saying, “Oh! The media is making this bigger than what it really is!” when, in the end, it turned out to be true (the reports of tension) and his fit on this team became questionable in every facet.

Now it’s going to be compelling to see what they do with Jeff Green and Brandon Bass going forward.

The Celtics being terrible isn’t a new idea to yours truly. They’ve been so for most of my life sans that magical run from 2007 to 2012 (particularly 2007 to 2010, but… that Eastern Conference Finals run in 2010 gave me too much hope before a man by the name of LeBron James dashed it).

Junior dos Santos Returns to the Octagon Tonight at UFC on Fox 13 vs. Stipe Miocic!

jds1
One of my favorite fighters (Junior dos Santos) in the UFC is returning to the octagon tonight to face Stipe Miocic, his first fight since his title fight loss to Cain Velasquez in October 2013.

A lot of molecular structured dunces on MMA forums keep writing about how JdS is ‘done’ as an elite heavyweight after his two losses to Cain Velasquez, but that’s such an idiotic thing to say. JdS is, at this juncture, the second best heavyweight in the world. He’s still in the prime of his career and there is not a shred of evidence suggesting otherwise. His inability to defeat Cain is everyone’s inability to win that matchup. He’s slowly, as time has ensued, evolved a more complete, refined and technical kickboxing game to go along with his venomous power and is still practically impossible to take down while also having elite cardio. This is JdS’s fight to lose.

As we’ve all bore witness to, the way to defeat JdS is to wear him down and be the better striker and boxer which, in the heavyweight division, that would only leave Cain Velasquez standing as the man to do it (Cain is not a better boxer, but he learned how to wear JdS down in their last two fights against one another).

Stipe Miocic is a versatile fighter, but he’s not adept at takedowns nor does he have the pace of a Cain. He likes to set up strikes without much power and has never fought anybody with JdS’s boxing. I reckon JdS’s power will be too damn much for Miocic to withstand and we’ll see a happy JdS by round 2. Prediction: Junior dos Santos by round 2 knockout.

The Golden State Warriors are the NBA’s Most Overrated Team This Season (2014-2015)

I love the Golden State Warriors.

Steve Kerr is an astute color commentator, and as a head coach he’s standing in a suit on the sidelines representing an NBA best 19-2 Warriors team (detractor of the week Dennis Rodman, a former teammate of Kerr with the Chicago Bulls back in the ’90s, says Kerr ain’t coachin’ sheeit). Stephen Curry is a freakish star. Klay Thompson is a rising star. They are going to be contenders.

But putting them into a conversation involving the NBA Finals in December leads me to this conclusion: they are overrated.

I say that with love, Warriors fans. With love, indeed, motherfuckers.

Every year, some young team shoots out to a big, sexy record, and by the time April rolls around they are no longer sitting as pretty as they were at this sort of season’s juncture. Same scenario applies here.

If they walked into a playoff series tomorrow against the San Antonio Spurs, who would you bet your money on? I know who I’d predict, based on experience and history (hint: the team that’s won five titles since 1999).

Defense is taken seriously in the playoffs — the Warriors have shown themselves to be an electic high scoring offense with a defense that’s tantamount to a tenuous-ass plastic sandwich bag. They’ll falter in the playoffs due to this. I wouldn’t doubt the prospect of Andrew Bogut falling apart by that point, anyhow, and David Lee? Same expectation.

CM Punk in the UFC: Good Business Move or Just a Gimmick?

cm punk ufc

Look in my eyes,
What do you see?
An MMA fighter-to-be

I know the MMA purists are butthurt!
I’m not sure what’s worst!
Oooh oooh!
Iiiiiiiiiii’m a Cult of Personality

So my days of concocting parodies of songs need a little bit of work in current times, but it’d be cool if the band Living Colour could edit their own piece of work for Phil “CM Punk” Brooks for his first fight in the UFC during his walkout.

I’m finally touching this subject after waiting a few days to settle down from watching Johny “Little Rigg” Hendricks rightfully lose his UFC welterweight title to Robbie Lawler. A little bit before Saturday night’s big event, my lifelong best friend/de facto brother, “T.O.”, asked me, “What’s this I hear about CM Punk doing MMA?” and I said, “Eh, I know he’s trained at the Gracie Academy, some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but not enough to actually fight.”

Then, low and behold, after the Tony Ferguson/Abel Trujillo fight, Mike Goldberg said that Joe Rogan had a “big announcement”, and moments later Rogan was standing there with CM Punk, when it was announced Brooks (Punk) had signed a contract with the UFC.

Here’s the background of CM Punk: he’s a former pro wrestler with a huge following that felt disgruntled with Vince McMahon (damn it! — had to do that, too) and the WWE, and so he walked out of the company back in January. Before this Saturday, the last I’d heard of him was that he’d been signed to write for Marvel.

I was a huge pro wrasslin’ fan when I was a kid. Stone Cold Steve Austin and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson were my heroes. I grew out of it, but over the years since I’d occasionally tune into a Monday Night Raw just to tap into the ol’ nostalgia stores. People call pro wrasslin ‘fake’, but what it really is, is scripted. I mean, you don’t go watch a movie and bemoan it as fake, right? In pro wrasslin’, everything is predetermined, and it’s actually a pretty tough entertainment industry when you think about what these guys are doing: putting their bodies on the line over 300 days of the year, trying to perform well enough and not seriously hurt whoever they are performing in the ring with. One could probably argue that it’s tougher to be a pro wrestler than it is to be a mixed martial artist due to the physical damage one sustains over time compared to somebody who only fights twice or so a year. Even if it is scripted, you have to trust the person (or people) you are in the ring with to not seriously fuck your body up, and with some of the goddamn moves they do, it’s always a possibility.

Now, with that said, I’m concerned with CM Punk’s abilities in the octagon. So, he’s been training at the Gracie Academy, but for what I or anybody else knows is that he’s only a white belt in BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu). I have no idea what else he’s dabbled into (I’ve read that he’s had a little bit of experience in muay thai).

The thing is, CM Punk is going to inevitably run into a fighter that’s spent their entire lives training in mixed martial arts, and that fighter is going to fuck Punk up. No hyperbole.

CM Punk is 36-years-old and only just now doing mixed martial arts for the first time. MMA legend Randy Couture started MMA at about this age, too, but you can’t compare the two, because Couture was an Olympic level wrestler. Punk has no experience in that kind of wrestling.

This is what most detractors are saying:

CM Punk is just trying to be like Brock Lesnar!

Not really. Lesnar was a national champion, collegiate wrestler in Minnesota. Not comparable, really. The only thing these two have in common as of now is their experience with pro wrasslin’.

This is the general consensus of what detractors are mostly complaining about:

The Coke joke is in regards to CM Punk having a tattoo of the Pepsi logo. Punk purports to be "straight edge".
The Coke joke is in regards to CM Punk having a tattoo of the Pepsi logo. Punk purports to be “straight edge”.

This is going to be a win-win situation for the UFC, regardless of the outcome of Punk’s fight(s). They’ll get the surge in popularity thanks to Punk’s fanbase, and if Punk loses, oh well, because he’s currently easily the biggest draw in the UFC and the money will come flying in.

Robbie Lawler is the New UFC Welterweight Champion!

I said it before and now I’m going to say it again: Johny Hendricks is a bleating, beta whiner of a bumrat schmuck, something I’ve echoed since November 16, 2013 after Georges St.-Pierre defeated him in the main event of UFC 167.

It’s almost 5 in the morning and I’m tired, but I’m thrilled — Hendricks is no longer the UFC Welterweight champion. Earlier tonight, he dropped the title to “Ruthless” Robbie Lawler in a split decision that made me laugh hysterically with unabated gusto.

Johny “Little Rigg” Hendricks saw that he couldn’t take the new Welterweight champion down nor could he knock him out. Little Rigg froze in the moment and just hid his head as he held Lawler against the cage and expected to win. Little Rigg lacks the mental toughness to be a champion (he validated that statement following his sound loss to GSP when he whined for months about how he felt he was the undisputed champion of the 170-pound division).

While I’m often critical of MMA judging, this should be a warning to the lay’n’prayers — the cagefuckers and wrestlefuckers — of the MMA jungle — be active and fight. Stalling and all that other shit devalues the entertainment of a fight and delivers nothing definitive as for winning a fight actively.

A chump, not a champ.

That was karma for whining excessively following his loss to a legend.

Just like many others on MMA sites, I think Robbie Lawler won the first fight against Hendricks. Hendricks won by a unanimous decision in that one. Did Lawler whine? No. He went out, whipped Jake Ellenberger’s ass with a TKO victory, stomped a mudhole in my hairy brethren Matt Brown with a unanimous decision victory, and then tonight, he defeated Johny “Little Rigg” Hendricks.

As the 5th round ended and the horn rang, Lawler stared down Hendricks like he owned him.

Then Lawler took the Welterweight title away from Little Rigg.

And after thirteen years, Robbie Lawler completed the best MMA comeback story ever. Deservedly so.

UFC 181: Hendricks/Lawler and Pettis/Melendez Predictions

ufc181

There’s only one fighter in all of MMA (well, three, if you include Francis Carmont and Brendan Schaub…) that I dislike: Johny Hendricks. As much as I try to be unbiased, I can’t stand that bleating whiner of a bumrat schmuck. He’s the reigning UFC Welterweight champion and he’s facing Robbie Lawler tonight in a rematch from their original Welterweight-title-crowning fight back in March. I usually set these posts up with a different structure, but fuck it, I’m rolling with this line of action today.

After legend Georges St.-Pierre defeated Hendricks to retain the Welterweight title last November (and subsequently semi-retired), Hendricks went on an interminable tirade for months, whining and bitching and groaning and moaning and pissing all over the goddamn place about how the Welterweight title belonged to him, and ’cause he left a few marks on GSP’s face, all of that meant that he should’ve been the champ of the damn ol’ 170 lb. division.

Well, Johny “Little Rig” Hendricks rendered himself into a molecular structured hypocrite when, in March of this year, his face was beaten and battered by one “Ruthless” Robbie Lawler, and Hendricks persevered to win the Welterweight title by taking Lawler down twice in the fifth and final round of their fight and lying on top of him to avoid Lawler’s superior standup game.

By Hendricks’ account, shouldn’t Lawler be the motherfuckin’ champion of the Welterweight division?

Sheesh Louise and a butter biscuit from hell…

I’ll give credit when credit is due: Hendricks has an overhand left that, when it connects, is going to have a stunning effect, and his wrestling is superior to Lawler’s. However, in the standup, Hendricks is a one-trick pony with that overhand left while Lawler has a variety of punches and kicks in his arsenal to throw towards Hendricks. Of course, I’m sure Hendricks will use his wrestling to lie on top of Lawler for five rounds and win another unanimous decision while dipshit MMA forum-goers of the internet will pronounce, “Aye told-juh! Hendricks wasn’t even healthy ‘gainst dat dere Robert Lawler back in ol’ March, and now he took it to h’eem and won ‘gain! Yeaah! Now brang on dat Gee Ess Pee for ah’ rematch!”

Dipshits.

So while Hendricks will likely wrestlefuck Lawler to a UD, I’ll go with the uber-biased prediction of Lawler knocking Hendricks the fuck out in the second round with a leg kick heard ’round the world.

Now, with that said, the other fight that’s headlining this pay-per-view is the co-main event: Anthony Pettis, after winning the Lightweight title last August, is finally defending the the belt against Gilbert Melendez.

Now, with that said, I usually wouldn’t give a shit who wins this fight. I appreciate both fighters, like I usually always do when it comes to competitors not named Johny Hendricks, Francis Carmont or Brendan Schaub, but with every post over the last year that I’ve noticed on MMA Facebook pages that mentioned Pettis being received by fans with dipshit-induced comments like, “Huh! Pettis! He never fights! Paper champ! He’s injured all da dayumn time! Take the title away!”, I genuinely hope Pettis decisively finishes Melendez. Anthony Pettis, victor by round 1 KO of Melendez and every simple minded detractor out there.

No offense to Melendez, and nothing at all against him, but these fans are ignoring the fact that Melendez hasn’t even fought since last October, when he was almost knocked out by a braindead zombie of a man known as Diego “The Nightmare” Sanchez, so excuse me if I desire drinking a shitload of Killian’s* because of people’s near-sighted, blatant incompetence when it comes to ignoring one aspect of the sport.

(*… I’ve already had a few Killian’s prior to writing this post, so fuck you.)

This went from being a post meant for predictions to one that might as well have been called, “Troy Inebriatedly Writes About How Big of a Hypocritical Dipshit Johny Hendricks Is and Why MMA Fans are Hypocritical Dipshits, too, and Why He Hopes Lawler and Pettis Win Their Respective Fights”.

I should change it to that.

No.

Have a damn good night, everybody. Be safe out there. Enjoy watching Robbie Lawler capture the Welterweight title and Anthony Pettis retaining the Lightweight title. Mahalo!

UFC is Implementing Uniforms Beginning in July 2015

If you are an MMA fan, you’ve definitely heard about this.

I’m not sure how I completely feel about this move. Since it’s the internet and most people are prone to impatient, impulsive outbursts in the guise of elongated, immediate rants with their keyboards when news is first emitted is a norm.

The thing is, the details are lacking and nobody can honestly decide if this is a positive deal for UFC fighters (not in the top 5%) or not. Something else that is cause for concern is whether the distribution of guaranteed cash via Reebok hinging on the rankings system that’s currently incumbent. If the UFC goes that route, then they’ll inevitably have to iron out a brand new ranking system that discludes members of the media ranking fighters judged by their own personal biases. How will this affect injured fighters and outspoken fighters?

Will fight purses — overall — decrease because of this? I wouldn’t mind hearing some thoughts, so sound off in the comments!